It can be a slippery slope

Tonight feels like it could go sideways. Not too sure why. Good workout this morning, got my cardio in and busy but productive day at work.

Finished dinner – Kale salad with tuna, tomatoes, cranberries, seeds and little bit of poppyseed dressing – and I still feel like something sweet. Pull out ketchup crispy minis, ok not sweet but carbs. Had a few handfuls. Still searching, raisins sure! Let’s “fill up” my sons 1/4 empty bin 😉 handful, few more, close the lid. But this is how it starts, little bits of things.

My husband is heading downstairs with my son leaving me in the kitchen alone. Dangerous. I have to do a little cooking tonight for the rest of the week. I made a coffee, almond milk latte actually with a bit of chocolate protein powder, ah this is satisfaction!

And I write about it, of my fingers are typing I certainly can’t be eating too 😉

My view

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‘Twas the night before, before Christmas

I wrote this a few days ago, and I was honestly afraid to post it. But now maybe because it is New Years Eve, I need to get over it. I need to get over my fears.

“Stop and Remember: Whatever is going on in your mind, you are attracting.”

So, with that said I am not attracting the negative. I am done with extremes and I am ready to move on. Here is my post from the other night. Enjoy!


I have so much to say but don’t know where to start…bullet points, that might work!

  • What a year!! Let’s be done with it 😉
  • Completed my first Figure Show
  • Hired a new coach, to do another show? I don’t know?
  • Went off the rails – LOL – yup!

Let’s go with the last point because that is the what is hitting me NOW! The days leading up the Christmas have gotten progressively worse. Everyday and extra bite of something. I had told my new coach (see third point) that I only know extremes – extreme highs and extreme lows – I don’t know where the middle of the road is. There is no grey in my life, just black and white.

She gave me a meal plan, and a workout plan for December. This is off season, no show in mind yet for 2015. We need to work on some areas and we are slowly increase my food and decreasing all the cardio.

The weeks leading up to my show, which was November 8, 2014, I was doing 1hr20mins cardio and my carbs and fats were at a record low. I was doing what I though was needed to get me on stage. And I did, I stepped on stage that day very proud of my accomplishments! I didn’t have a care in the world, 1st, 5th or 10th it didn’t matter. It was the experience backstage, on stage and the Boston Pizza foodathon that followed. It was my Dad’s waffles for breakfast the next day and candy and pizza and whatever I wanted.

Is that the way it should be done, no probably not but I didn’t care – I had put in the work for 16 weeks to get myself down to a record low of 145lbs and 12% body fat. Never in my life had I felt so small, but so powerful. I felt beautiful and ugly at the same time. It was, and still is a whirl win of emotions.

So, what brings me to today? I just feel huge, and I haven’t even had Christmas dinner. But I can’t stop myself. It is like this is the last time I will have these items that I am craving?!? I am having a hard time allowing myself little pleasures, I just resort to extremes.

7w 1d – let the mind games begin!

It has been a weird week, I was explaining to a friend of mine this morning that I have been coming home after work and questioning if I cheated on my meal plan that day?!? I have to stop and really think about it. I know I didn’t but my mind is playing tricks on me. I have been taking a break from the office daily to grab a coffee, or go for a drive and every time I think – hmm I should get a treat. One cookie, doughnut or pack of Twizzlers is not going to kill me. I don’t act on these thoughts, I order my black coffee and go but for some reason my brain thinks maybe I did!

Each time I have these thoughts, I make a choice. My choice is not to give into my temptations. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, I am not depriving myself of food – no one needs doughnuts. I choose to fill myself up with vegetables, protein and good carbs.

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There is a lot going on in my life right now, between work and home. We have decided to sell our house in the middle of my prep, smart – probably not but it is time and needs to be done. Will it throw off my prep? Maybe! But I will try my best not to let it. I will keep focused on my prep and hopefully everything else will fall into place. This show gives me something to focus on, to take my mind away from all the realities of life. Because I know that what I am doing is not reality, it is a dream. A dream that will come true, but then fade away.

 

Fast approaching 8 weeks

At night is when I question this process the most. I guess because I have time to think about it.

Normally, my day is so busy, I focus more on remembering to eat than think about the why? I don’t question so much the program, the workouts, food or supplements; after all I go to reputable people who have been in this industry for 20+ years and I trust them. I think it is “how is my body going to get there in that amount of time?

I am approaching 8 weeks out from competition and to some that sounds like a long time; 8 weeks, 2 months, 60 days. A lot can happen in that time! I think what I have learned so far is that it goes in waves, highs, lows and plateaus. Your body either reacts or it doesn’t. If it doesn’t you change, modify and continue on.

I am so curious to see what the next 8 weeks brings and what my “package” will look like.

 

And its 8w 4d – Can’t miss a beat!

I feel like my world revolves around the gym and food right now, and really it kind of does. But there is more to life, and I know that. Monday was a prime example of how days go sideways and sometimes you just have to roll with it.

The morning routine at our house right now is gym for me first, alarm goes off at 4:10am and I get up to get ready and be at the gym (sometimes pounding at the door) at 5am. I have to be home by 7am for my husband to switch with me – 2 year olds can’t watch themselves – and then I try to shower and get ready before the rugrat gets up around 7:30am.

Monday morning I could only do my 1hr cardio because I needed to be at work early to leave early and pick up my car getting fixed. GET ON WITH IT ALREADY RIGHT!??! Well that left me to do my weights at night.

I got all my meals in during the day, had a shake when I got home, picked up my car, had supper and then headed to the gym around 8:00pm. This way the kid is down and hubby can relax. But holy cow I forgot that the gym turns into a night club after dark! I was supposed to do legs but heck no was I going to attempt that. I ended up securing a cable and went to work on back and biceps.

I managed to do;

Straight Arm Lat Pulldown

Lat Pulldown (wide grip)

Cable Double Bicep

Bicep Cable Curl

Seated Row

Barbell Curl

I was home by about 9pm and had my last meal of the day – protein and water, made into a cake. I don’t think I fell asleep until past 10pm which is super late for me! So, 4:10am Tuesday morning was SUPER early.

Sunday Funday!

I am officially 9 weeks out from my first competition and this is where it starts to get interesting. My week consists of workouts (5 days of weights and 7 days cardio), food prep, meeting with my coach, posing class and then all the normal things like being a wife, mom and employee.

This Sunday was no different, except that this is the only day that I don’t set an alarm! I had my breakfast before hitting the gym, egg white pancakes – YUM! Then it was off to the gym around 9:00am on the agenda was triceps and cardio, I have 1:20 of cardio to do on the weekends.

As soon as I get home, its a shake and then a Gatorade, this is part of my meal plan as per my coach. We had plans to go out that day so food prep was super important. I ate my 3rd meal in the car…

Ground Turkey Quinoa Salad

Ground Turkey Quinoa Salad

I spent the next 4 hours touring around Granville Island with my husband, son and friends. I managed to consume only a coffee in that time period and I had my next meal waiting for me in the car on ice! It was turkey, cabbage and mustard – a staple right now.

Dinner was up next almost as soon as we got home. My go to right now is stir-fry, it simple and tasty!

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Now keep in mind, I have a two year old so in between all of this he would like my undivided attention. I don’t remember if he ate his dinner, probably not, but he most likely stole off my perfectly portioned plate of food! After bath, stories and cuddles he normally goes down around 8pm. Then I get to get creative with my select ingredients for my last meal of the day. Tonight, I wanted to try something a little different than my normal protein lava cake so I made FROSTED protein cake!

IMG_4780I think my head hit the pillow around 9:30pm, my alarm goes off at 4:10am…you can read all about that tomorrow!

 

Sole for the Soul

You will find a lot of people in the fitness/bodybuilding industry eat Talapia. It is low fat and doesn’t have a fishy taste or smell. You can blend it in with almost anything. I have eaten my fair share in the past, but I have now switched to Sole or Cod or if I am feeling fancy, Halibut. What I am looking for really is wild white fish and Talapia is farmed.

Today I made up a sauce to coat my Sole with before it went into the oven. It consisted of Stone Ground Mustard, Frank’s Red Hot, Low Sodium Soy Sauce, Sea Salt and Flavor God’s Lemon & Garlic seasoning. I really just eyeballed it to see what worked, put my finger in it to taste and it was ready to go!

IMG_4710I buy my fish frozen from Walmart or Superstore. For me one pack equals about 3 meals.

IMG_4712I put my thawed fish onto a baking sheet, onto parchment paper and coated it with my sauce.

IMG_4711I baked it in the oven at 350 for about 12 mins and then I put it on high broil for another 8 mins (may have been a touch too long). It really depends if you are eating it right away or saving it for later to be re-heated. For me it is the latter so I normally try not to over cook it.